Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Scorpion vs. Behr (Part 2)

So now that I probably have a few people who despise me. I'll finish my story. We'll see if you guessed right.

Let's see...where was I? Oh yes. I was trapped. Caught between a two-inch scorpion and ... a bathroom. I have two options. Well, three - if you count sleeping in the tub.
       Option 1: I can jump over the bug and pray he doesn't follow me to my room
                      (or worse - I misjudge and land on him).
       Option 2: I can try to find a weapon and kill him.

What do you think? Come on remember the snake story... Yeah. I went for option 2, but remember I don't have a shoe. All I have to pick for weapons is what I can find in the bathroom or washroom. (Yes, and I will admit I'm too much of a girl to want to get too close to the thing.) I want something thick enough, big enough, and definitely heavy enough that I'll only have to hit the bugger once.

Seeing as I've done some scorpion smashing in this hallway before, I go for my previous weapon of choice - the paint can. (And you thought the Behr had nothing to do with this story. :) ) One problem though. The can is past the scorpion. Closer than the shoes. But still past the scorpion. What do I do? The only probable thing (in my mind at least). I take one large step and crawl my happy, little tail on top of the washer and to the opposite end of the dryer. No way am I gonna get any closer to the stinging end of that critter than I have to. :) Sprawled across the appliances, I keep one eye on the bug and another on the paint can until the weapon is hovering by the handle over the target like a giant wrecking ball (or scorpion swatter :) ).

I smush (that's a combination of mush and smash to those of you who aren't familiar with the Texas slang) the unwelcome, little critter with a spontaneous, girlish squeal. (Believe it or not I rarely squeal - unless it's around poisonous things.) I almost miss with the first shot. Barely got his tail in fact. Leaving the scorpion to possibly escape and come find me during the night is not an option. I don't want trapped. No, I want dead as a door nail.

I have to try again. Of course this means picking up the can. What if it gets away? Just the thought makes my skin crawl. But I digress: even though I don't want to, I bravely lift the can. With my toes. To try again. (I think I can hear the laughter from here :) - I'm pathetic I know.)

What does the scorpion do? Nothing. He sits there. Doesn't run away or anything. Dumb bug. I drop the hanging cylinder again and this time - he ain't goin' nowhere!

Yeah! I win!