Scorpion vs. Behr (Part 2)

So now that I probably have a few people who despise me. I'll finish my story. We'll see if you guessed right.

Let's see...where was I? Oh yes. I was trapped. Caught between a two-inch scorpion and ... a bathroom. I have two options. Well, three - if you count sleeping in the tub.
       Option 1: I can jump over the bug and pray he doesn't follow me to my room
                      (or worse - I misjudge and land on him).
       Option 2: I can try to find a weapon and kill him.

What do you think? Come on remember the snake story... Yeah. I went for option 2, but remember I don't have a shoe. All I have to pick for weapons is what I can find in the bathroom or washroom. (Yes, and I will admit I'm too much of a girl to want to get too close to the thing.) I want something thick enough, big enough, and definitely heavy enough that I'll only have to hit the bugger once.

Seeing as I've done some scorpion smashing in this hallway before, I go for my previous weapon of choice - the paint can. (And you thought the Behr had nothing to do with this story. :) ) One problem though. The can is past the scorpion. Closer than the shoes. But still past the scorpion. What do I do? The only probable thing (in my mind at least). I take one large step and crawl my happy, little tail on top of the washer and to the opposite end of the dryer. No way am I gonna get any closer to the stinging end of that critter than I have to. :) Sprawled across the appliances, I keep one eye on the bug and another on the paint can until the weapon is hovering by the handle over the target like a giant wrecking ball (or scorpion swatter :) ).

I smush (that's a combination of mush and smash to those of you who aren't familiar with the Texas slang) the unwelcome, little critter with a spontaneous, girlish squeal. (Believe it or not I rarely squeal - unless it's around poisonous things.) I almost miss with the first shot. Barely got his tail in fact. Leaving the scorpion to possibly escape and come find me during the night is not an option. I don't want trapped. No, I want dead as a door nail.

I have to try again. Of course this means picking up the can. What if it gets away? Just the thought makes my skin crawl. But I digress: even though I don't want to, I bravely lift the can. With my toes. To try again. (I think I can hear the laughter from here :) - I'm pathetic I know.)

What does the scorpion do? Nothing. He sits there. Doesn't run away or anything. Dumb bug. I drop the hanging cylinder again and this time - he ain't goin' nowhere!

Yeah! I win!

Scorpion vs. Behr

I know what you're thinking...she's a writer and she's already misspelled the title. Not! I did that on purpose. Allow me to explain...I'll start with the scorpion. First off, I have a great dislike for these snappy, stinging, eight-legged crawlers. This is probably because I got stung twice by them growing up (both times while in bed - not fun!) My mother has come to call them "my pets." But believe you me - I don't want one around unless its dead and even then he better not stay long.

Now that I've chased that rabbit - let me tell you about the other night. I'm winding down to go to bed, and what do I see? Yep, you guessed it. I spot one of "my pets" crawling behind the TV in my living room. My senses are now on high alert as I ready to turn in for the night. I'm flicking on lights before I enter a room, hitting a switch before walking down a dark hallway, carefully watching the carpet or tile for anything that moves. (Think it took me a little longer than normal?  :) )

In spite of all this, I manage to find my PJs and make one last trip to the bathroom - which of course means more light switching because I have to pass thru the deeply shadowed utility room. Nothing's crawling so I skitter on past through the doorway. Just before I hit the lights to go back to my bedroom, I look down. Gotta check the floor one more time. And there it is. A 1 1/2 to 2 inch, light beige, tail-swinging scorpion.

I'm trapped. I have no shoes. No other exit. What's a girl suppose to do? Let me rephrase that - What's a country girl suppose to do? As you can guess, I ...

Oh were you expecting to hear more. :) You are going to have to guess, aren't you? Well at least until Tuesday of next week. Grrr, right? Until then, I'd love some comments of what you think this freckle-faced country girl did.

Curiosity Killed the Cat...

I know it's been said "Curiosity killed the cat, but Satisfaction brought him back." This post will hopefully bring some of you "back." :) I've had questions about my book, and one of the things I'm even learning is about that leap from writer to published author. (Did you even know there was one?) Well, a wonderful interview is at this link that helps answer some questions and give insight into the world I'm delving into. So for those curious cats out there, I hope you enjoy learning. :)

Things Change

Don't ya love it when things change! Especially when they change unannounced. Well...I got a wild hair (or is it hare? - anyway...) today and opted to do a little conditioning to my blog/web page. So please take a moment or two (or ten even) to peek at the other pages I've made: Who Am I and Drop Me A Line. Oh yeah - what do you think of the other changes?

Double Take - What do ya think?

In gearing up for the conference I will be attending, I had to create a one page sheet to catch a reader's, editor's, or agent's attention. One of the pieces to include on this pitch sheet is a picture that will describe my book. After hours of work this past Saturday, this is what I came up with. (P.S. That is a picture of a real Confederate Army Bowie knife.) So.... What do you think? Does it make you wanna stop and take a second look?

GPS Funnies - God Answers Prayer

For those of you coming back for more...Don't always trust the GPS, especially when it needs upgrading. How do I know this? The hard way. :)

During our research trip, God answered my prayer. Our small group loaded into my car and before I pulled out I prayed, "Lord keep us safe and let us have fun. Amen." We had no idea He would answer so abundantly and use a GPS to boot. Anyway, we head out for Colorado Bend State Park. A place that is advertised as being an untouched portion of the Texas Hill Country. (P.S. They weren't lying.) Possible dirt roads expected, right? You have no idea.

Picture Courtesy of Williamson Photos

Using Chip (my beloved name for our GPS), we head out on a paved highway going up hills, around curves, until we're instructed to turn onto - you'll never guess - a dirt road. We go by this guy in a pick-em-up truck who stares at my car like he's never seen another vehicle before. By the way, this is, I believe, at a cattle guard crossing (you know, those metal bars you drive over that make your eye-teeth want to jar out of your head). Is Chip steering us wrong?

Miles of dirt road traveled at 30 mph or less, empty fields spreading from both sides of the road, and we come to another cattle guard crossing. Chip is suspiciously silent at the moment, but my riders are not. By now, my mother has questioned my cousin about her beloved cell phone. The kind with internet access...A MAP...something to help us know we're going the right direction because, of course, the paper maps we normally bring with us have conveniently missed catching the ride out of town. I begin laughing even though my cousin seems to only consider the lack of the inanimate object as an annoyance. But it's either laugh or cry especially when we see ... cow patties ... in the middle of the road.

Picture Courtesy of Williamson Photos

I laugh harder! The whole car joins in my merriment. We soon jar our way across the third cattle guard of the morning and lo and behold... the depositors of the smelly piles dotting the road. Yes, Black Angus bulls and heifers blocking our path and standing by fences looking at us from big ebony eyes full of question - You want me to move?

I can barely breath! Laughter has me in a death grip. Bad for the person driving, right? I look at the GPS moments later and it shows us no longer on a road. No, it has us in the middle of a field! Well, he finally got that right! We reach a dead end at a large gate to someone's property and have to turn around. Yay! We get to go through three rattling cattle guards, the miles of bumpy dirt road, and patches of curious cows all over again - in reverse! I'm nearly crying and my cheeks hurt from the joy of it all. Surely my sides are aching at this point. But when we return to fetch the real map (we fired Chip), we realized God answered my prayer.

We definitely had fun!

To top it all off, when we finally get on the right road and make it to the state park, we have to travel down 10 miles of dirt road which traveled across someone's property! (No kidding, there was a sign saying: Private Property - Don't stop or exit your vehicle.) And guess what? There were more cattle guards and cows too. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor! :)